So here it is. The autumn equinox – the point in the calendar when day and night are of equal length – falls today. Which means (gulp) the nights will be longer than the days from here until March. My brain melts a bit at this prospect. When I talk about my love of summer, it's not the heat I crave but the light. And I think I know why.
When my first baby was born in the middle of a typically British rainy summer, our first weeks and months were spent mainly indoors. Getting to grips with the feeding and the lack of sleep and the general WTF have we done? feeling took a while. And I used to get The Fear every evening when the sun went down, crippled with anxiety about what that night would bring in terms of waking and painful latching on and the endless nappy changes. (The possibility of post natal depression wasn't really on my radar at that point, but I'm fairly sure that was what was going on for me then. Kinda wish I could go back and tell myself it would get better.)
By the time we emerged from this fog the seasons were turning again and the evenings were getting lighter. Things were brighter in every sense. But there's something about the darkness that remains, quiet and black, with a residual potential to terrify me.
So when the days turn short, the clocks go back and the scarves come out, it makes me shudder. Is it Seasonal Affective Disorder? Could be, I suppose. Might investigate those special lights, and living in this white-painted, light and big-windowed home helps.
What else is going to help?
No, I haven't just had a total brain transplant and certainly won't be opting for nights freezing under canvas any time soon. What I mean by that is identifying the strong and fast things that will hold up the season (and me) until we're out the other side. It's a marketing term used to describe key bestselling products. It's also often used in Hollywood to denote those films that earn enough to allow studios the budget for more experimental work. (I think there may also be a Wayne's World reference but seeing as that's a bit rude let's pretend it didn't happen...!)
My tentpoles for autumn then. Here goes:
The final wedding of 2016 - can't wait to see my friends B&G tie the knot this weekend
A blogger trip to London
Celebrating a big birthday with my mum down in Dorset
Seeing live music - Freakwater, Whitney, The Invisible, Teenage Fanclub
My own birthday fun - planning trips away and quiet closeness with the people I love
Dancing, I miss it. We'll be dressing up and hitting the floor at our favourite Northern Soul night
Bonfire night - I think a little party might be on the cards
Christmas! I love the lead up to the festive season
And the everyday?
Chilly swims at the Lido
Playing with our new kittens
Living by the harbour
Cooking in our kitchen post-makeover
Open fires and box sets
Hanging out with the kiddos
Do you have tentpoles of your own? What holds you up when everything in you wants to sleep until it's all over? Got a box set recommendation for me?
Leave me a comment and let me know. Let's be in this together!
All images: Unsplash